


Ever Think of Keeping a Journal?

by ShipMasterNepeta



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:26:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23938378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipMasterNepeta/pseuds/ShipMasterNepeta
Summary: After several sleepless nights, Mei-Ling (with the help of Winston) finishes analyzing the 9 years worth of data she lost everything for. With that done, however, Mei has trouble finding what's next for her; she has even more trouble with her growing feelings for her fellow scientist.Winston wants to help; it's what he does. However, 6 years in isolation and the loss of two families has left him emotionally scarred, and he's unsure he's willing to let himself open up for a third time. Things get complicated when he starts seeing his fellow scientist in a different light.Two scientists, both intimately familiar with loss, try and find warmth in a cold world, and end up finding it in each other.
Relationships: Lena "Tracer" Oxton & Winston, Winston & Mei-Ling Zhou, Winston/Mei-Ling Zhou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	Ever Think of Keeping a Journal?

**Author's Note:**

> i f33l obligated to point out that this is not a crack ship, despite the fact that this will purrobably be the only thing existing in this tag. heck, this is more canon compliant than it has any right to be, what with acknowledging mei somehow goes on sefural months of adventures while k33ping a journal sometime betw33n "wake up sl33py head"/"recall", and "zero hour" (even though it's purretty heavily implied that recall and zero hour cat-punned sometime close to each other. freaking retcons). i also acknowledge that this sentiment is meaningless in a fandom where the most popular ships are fueled on pure fanon and thirst. so...yeah. enjoy.

“Ahhh,  _ finally _ !”

Mei-Ling stretches her arms up and arches her body backwards, gaining a satisfying crack. She lets out a sigh of contentment as she lets her arms slump down to her sides. She takes a brief moment to lean back and look around the room, her joyful face highlighted by the light from the hundreds of screens around her; each screen has a varying degree of numbers, charts, and notes written on each of them, all seemingly organized in a chaotic manner. Mei’s attention drifts towards that of her neighbor. The large gorilla looks around the room with wonder, an expression Mei will never tire seeing on the fellow scientist’s face.

“I can’t believe we actually did it.” Winston voices with clear disbelief, a surge of relief spreading through his previously tense body. This is immediately followed by a yawn, a motion that has his mouth open into a gaping maw, his sharpened teeth in full view. Many would find this sight to be more than a little unnerving, but Mei can’t help but find the act cute. The yawn proves to be contagious, as Mei finds herself mirroring the action, gaining Winston’s attention.

“Huh, and not a moment too soon it seems.” The ape says with an embarrassed smile. “I never realized how late it was.”

“Sorry, I’m just as much to blame.” Mei responds with a guilty smile, “Once I get talking about my field, I usually have a hard time stopping.” She almost says ‘Especially when talking to you’ but wisely stops herself.

“Well, that’s not necessarily a  _ bad  _ thing.” Winston responds. He almost adds ‘I like hearing you talk’, but keeps his mouth shut. 

“If you say so.” She responds shyly, “You did most of the work though. I was probably just distracting-”

“On the contrary,” Winston interrupts, “I’d have done nothing if not for your expertise. All this,” He gestures around the room, filled with screens covered in information, “Nine years worth of weather data organized and analyzed.” He finally turns back to her with admiration. “This was all you. I just pushed in the numbers.”

Mei gives a genuine smile, her way of thanking him whenever he shoots down her anxious thoughts. When she had first arrived at Gibraltar, she’d felt intimidated by the larger than life presence of the two remaining Overwatch members. However, they’d both made it abundantly clear since the beginning that she deserves her spot in their ranks, with Lena always making her feel confident as a field agent, and Winston always making her feel confident in general. Nothing against Tracer, but there’s only so long Mei can talk about the fascinating science of weather before her eyes start to glaze over. Winston could not only talk science with her, but he also always listens to her with enthusiasm; the fact that he also goes out of his way to rid her of her insecure feelings makes him her go-to anchor.

She stands up for what must’ve been the first time in hours, then immediately regrets it as all the blood comes rushing to her head. Woozy and disoriented, she almost falls down if not for a large, fur covered arm swiftly catching her.

“Ha ha, careful there,” Winston says in a playful, but concerned tone, “After how long we’ve been at this, it’s no wonder you’re light headed.”

Mei giggles slightly as she leans against the gorilla’s arm, amused at how much of her weight it can support with such ease.

“Hah ha, I forget how strong you are sometimes Winston! Like a real life Son Wukong!” The woman exclaims, despite her half lidded, sleepy gaze. Winston lets out a self-conscious chuckle. Ever since finding out “The Journey to the West” was one of Winston’s favorite books growing up, she’d begun making numerous references to the gorilla.

“I’d like to think I’m a bit more... _ deliberate _ than Son Wukong.” The gorilla remarks, “If there is one word to describe the monkey king, it would be impulsive.”

“Oh really?” Mei responds, “If someone were in trouble, you wouldn’t think twice before jumping in to save them.  _ Literally _ .”

“Heh, touché.”

Mei takes the moment to slide back down to the ground, using Winston’s body as leverage. To her surprise, she finds his body is so much warmer than hers. Mei has never been a stranger to the cold, but given the nature of her work, she always dressed heavily; as a consequence, whenever she dressed lighter, it left her always feeling somewhat colder than she’d like. Currently, she is in nothing but her pajamas; combined with the soft nature of his fur, she has the overwhelming urge to just lie against him and fall asleep. Yes, she can just imagine that...lying against him...slowly closing her eyes...listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat...feeling the rise and fall of his chest...silently drifting...off to...sleep...

“Umm, Mei?”

Mei’s eyes shoot wide open as she realizes, much to her misfortune, she had done just that. She jerks herself off of the scientist, feeling rather flustered at doing such an intimate act with a colleague; the action causes her whole body to suddenly scream at her for taking it away from such warmth, which only seems to fluster her more.

“I’m so sorry, Winston! I don’t know what came over me! I’m so sorry, sorry, sorry sorry sorry…” And she starts rambling apologies, a habit she ends up doing whenever she gets too flustered.

“Mei, it’s fine,” Winston replies, trying but failing to hide a chuckle at the woman’s expense. “We’re both tired, and quite frankly if I had a jar of peanut butter for everytime Lena used me as a pillow, then I’d be needing an intervention right about now.” The comment elicits an embarrassing, albeit genuine laugh from the woman. Mei is someone who seems to laugh often, frequently starting or ending sentences with a whimsical giggle, but it is actually more of a coping mechanism than a sign of amusement; she’d found that doing so makes people around her more comfortable, a blessing for the usual introvert. Whenever she actually laughs, however, it’s a much less dignified sounding snort. Mei finds it slightly embarrassing, while Winston finds everytime he hears it to be a personal achievement.

Despite the embarrassing display, she still finds herself relaxing, so much so that she isn’t quite sure she understands why she got so flustered in the first place; it’s not that unusual to have a bit of physical contact; Winston was a colleague after all. A colleague, and a fellow scientist, a close friend, the...one who saved her life both when his recall awoke her from cryostasis and when he received her signal in antarctica and immediately booked it over to pick her up, gave her a place to stay and mourn, was there for her at her darkest moments, understood her situation better than anyone given his own history with loss, believed in her when she explained how important the nine years worth of data she had could be, personally volunteered to help her sort through it since it usually took a team of six, spent long sleepless nights speaking with her about anything from the latest in scientific discovery to the happy stories each one had of their lost ones, one of the most optimistic beings she’s ever met so much so it makes her look dower, a genius engineer who would harness time just to save one person’s life but never stopped being humble, speaks to her as an equal and listens to her with interest, is one of the kindest most genuine creatures to have ever blessed her path, a bright light in her dark tragedy of a life, a…

Mei shuts her eyes tightly, cutting off her train of thought before it can get any further. Despite this, she knows exactly where it was going, creating a subtle but gnawing feeling of guilt and shame in the pit of her stomach. 

“You alright?” Winston’s voice snaps Mei out of her reverie. Not wanting to appear troubled, she forces a smile on her face.

“Fine, just a bit...” Looking up, she sees the look of genuine concern on the gorilla’s face, and suddenly finds her earlier resolve crumble, “...just tired is all.” 

Though he doesn’t seem to fully believe her, he nods his head.

She feels a sense of relief, though, knowing Winston, it is only temporary; he has been adamant about getting her to talk about her problems for obvious reasons, but this is one problem she thinks she’ll have to keep to herself. 

Over the few months they’ve been together, Winston has become somewhat adept at reading the young woman, and can tell almost instantly that she’s lying. It worries him, and hurts him slightly that she doesn’t trust him with this issue after all that time. But he trusts her and trusts that she has a reason for hiding it. 

“I wonder though.” Winston asks in an attempt to change the subject, “What do you plan on next?”

“Hmm?” Mei stares at the gorilla for a good few seconds before the question finally processes. As it does, the woman’s smile freezes on her face before  melting into a slush pile of unacceptable sadness and surprise . Stockpiling insecurities, intensive labor, and severe lack of sleep all wrap themselves up in the simple response of:

“I...don’t...know.”

The full ramifications of their last day of work starts falling squarely on Mei’s shoulders. The biggest thing that has been keeping her in one piece has been analyzing that data, and now that it’s finished…

“Mei? Mei, relax!” Winston places his hand gently on her shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze, “No need to think on that right now. We still have to publish, after all.”

Mei nods, only just realizing how tense her body is. She finds herself leaning into his touch, her body still screaming for his warmth, and relaxes. 

“Right. Yeah, of course.” She nods with a more genuine smile, trying to quell her anxious thoughts. It wasn’t easy, the thoughts were gnawing and angry, filled with desperation and despair; the very thoughts that plague her in her worst nightmares. Things she doesn’t have to think about, not while she has things to work on. 

_ Work, _ she thinks, _ I still have work. _ A small, almost unseen idea flits through her mind as she thinks over her work, the data she sacrificed almost everything for. Before she can stop herself, it slips past her lips in a hushed whisper, almost too quiet to hear.

“...not that it would matter.”

Mei only realizes that she said it out loud when Winston frowns.

“I-I mean, I’m not saying it doesn’t matter!” Mei quickly adds, waving her hands in front of her frantically, “It’s just that, it won’t help change anyone’s mind.” 

Mei winces, her tired mind not making the situation better. Winston’s brow furrows further, making a wrinkly mass upon his forehead.

“I don’t understand. You told me that this data could save lives.”

Mei sighs heavily, a tiredness beyond just wariness seeping into her.

“The data is good, but it’s in only one place. That place is also Antarctica, which has weather behavior completely unique to it, so not many people are going to find it relevant. It showcases a pattern, one any scientist could follow. It’s just, the people that need to hear it most won’t want to listen.”

Winston’s brow unfurrows.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Mei sounds tired, almost dejected, and Winston knows it’s not just from sleep deprivation.

“No, wait. There has to be something else.” The scientist’s grip tightens on the woman’s shoulder, giving her a firm shake.

“Well, if the other ecopoints were active, we’d have data from all over the world.” The woman states, but with little enthusiasm in her voice. “But Overwatch shut down, and-”

“Wait.”

Mei looks up to see Winston typing into a machine with one hand, his other still holding Mei firmly. How long is he going to keep holding her? (How long is she going to let him?)

“Ah Ha!” Winston shouts, gaining Mei’s attention. The gorilla turns to Mei with a wide grin on his face.

“I knew it! They’re not active, per say, but they’re definitely still around!”

Mei wipes her eyes as she looks at the screen.

“Wait, you mean that there’s a chance-”

“-that they’ve still been on stand by, just like your base. They might have just what you need!”

Mei’s eyes widen, vigor returning to her demeanor.

“No way. Are you sure?”

Winston scratches the back of his head.

“Well, I can’t connect to them from here. If anything, I think you’d have to reactivate them manually, and given that they’re all in remote places away from human interference, it won’t be easy to get there. But it still means there’s a chance, right?”

The scientist’s energy is contagious, and Mei can’t help but bounce in place.

“Yes! Definitely! All we need to do is go there.”

She pauses, suddenly aware of what she just suggested.

“I mean, not you. You have Overwatch to worry about.”

Winston looks like he's about to counter when Mei raises a finger to his lips.

“No. You’ve helped me so much already, I can’t ask you to do this. You have too much on your plate already.”

Winston looks to be about to argue, but then lets out a sigh.

“Yes, you’re right. But hey, now you know what you can do next.”

Mei looks up to a warm smile aimed at her before she realizes.

“Wait...me?”

“Yes, you!”

“But...but I’m not cut out for it!”

“Says the woman who marched halfway across a tundra just to survive.”

“Well…”

“And, you could use this as a chance to practice being on the field. You made that amazing gun of yours, now you have a chance to use it.”

“I…”

Mei pauses, uncertainty on her face. Self doubt ebbs at the edge of her mind. Another gentle squeeze from Winston (is he still holding her?!) forces her to look up once again at his smile.

“Do you... _ really _ think I can do it?” She asks. Winston lets out a hearty chuckle.

“Mei, I don’t know anyone better for the job.”

Warmth fills Mei once again.  _ With how much he shines, how can any shadow hope to survive in me. _ She reaches up and grabs the hand he still has holding her, returning a smile just as bright.

Winston winces slightly at the touch before he abruptly lets go and pulls his hand back.

“Sorry about that.” He mentions with a nervous smile. Mei’s smile tweeks a bit in confusion. Why did he recoil at her touch? 

Winston turns his attention back towards the screen in front of him, a rising multitude of emotions in his chest. That smile, with so much warmth and gratitude, all aimed at him, and then she grabs his hand with her own? He knows that Mei is just thankful, that it meant nothing more, but the symphony of emotions running through his beating chest is still there. Her touch was still warm.  _ Get a hold of yourself. You can’t let something so simple get to you. _ He thinks to himself, but months without contact, years without touching another living being still grates on his mind. 

“I think now is as good a time as any to head to sleep.” The big boi states, “We can talk more about this tomorrow. For now, we need sleep.” He recieves a nod from Mei; she needs to get to bed before she fantasizes anymore about lying on Winston, something she still has the strong urge to do. She shakes her head briefly to wake herself up and gets to her feet. 

“You're definitely right about that.” The woman says before yawning.

“Goodnight.”

“Wan’an.” 

And with that, the two make their way to their rooms.

On her way, a niggling thought bothers Mei despite her attempts to stifle it.  _ Was Winston really that uncomfortable from me touching him?  _ It bothers her more than it should, the thought that someone so important to her being so averse to even a little physical contact. 

Only a few doors away, Winston is sitting in his room trying not to think about anything. But he can still feel it, her touching his hand so deliberately. How warm her smile was. How much the thought of it hurt.

Both went to bed feeling a nagging emptiness. Both had a dreamless night.


End file.
